January 4, 2011

Snooki’s novel: a victory for fat drunk mongoloids

I’m so excited for Snooki’s novel because finally somebody’s telling the reall story. It’s like finally the truth about what its like at the Shore, after you smash a hot gorilla and go out to battle on the dance floor and hopefully meeting new tan juice-heads to hopefully smash them also in the future. Her book will be perfeckt for those times I’m not tanning or smashing or drinking or smoking or puking or lancing genital warts.

Maybe now I’lll actually read a book because theres finally won worth reading. Snooki knows how it really is out in the real world. Snooki says she has only read 2 books in her whole life, and I’m like, you really read two hole books, girlfriend? Thats impressive, yo. But now I’m only one behind you and that’s pretty close since Snooki is like the Bible-writer of drinking and clubbing on the Shore.

It’s like this one gorilla I sometimes smash. I’m all saying, “Snooki’s book is going to be the truth!”

And he’s all, “I can right one anytime I want to!”

And so then I have to say, “Kneel at the tanned feet of Snooki the Bible-writer of Jersey!”

But the main point of my talking is to thank the publisher, witch is called Gallery, for publishing this good book. Usually books are such crap, so boring and long that I’m like, hello, why would I waist my time reading when I could be drinking/smashing with a juice-head gorilla Italian muscleman? Does that make any kind of sense in a person’s cranium? But now I’ll have to think twice like, maybe, I should read just this one book since the Bible-writer Snooki wrote it for all of us.

Finally, a good book for the real people to read!  We'll never be board out of our minds again, Gallery publisher.  You rock for being so real to the real people!